Eating Clean to Get Dirty

Clinical nutrition work has been a bigger and bigger part of my private practice recently. People who aren’t digging talk therapy (or already have an amazing therapist) are coming in for nutritional coaching sessions because they want to boost their physical, mental and emotional health with nutrition and natural supplements. Less reliance on pharmaceutical demigods and more focus on giving our bodies what they need to be healthy? This is the kind of thing that gives me hope for the future of humanity.

This summer I taught a workshop at The Love Shack Boutique specifically on “eating clean to get dirty.” Can we support excellent sexitimes just through what we eat? Oh, fuck yeah. And pun totally intended.

I know, you are looking at me with deep suspicion. I’m not fixing to sell you an expensive-ass drink mix through some pyramid scheme or make you start eating Brussels sprouts, if you hate that shit. I am well aware that I will have to pry the tacos from your cold, dead hands.

When it comes to a holistic approach to boosting our sex drive with nutrition, the things I focus on are: naturally increasing sex hormones (testosterone, estrogen); naturally balancing energy levels (alert, but not anxious); naturally increasing blood flow (erectile tissue); decreasing inflammatory response (because if you feel like shit, you don’t feel sexy); decreasing toxin load (ditto); and decreasing viral load (double ditto).

So how does all that work? Basic rule: We figure out what foods you like that do good things for your body and you start eating more of them. If I tell you okra is amazing for you but you hate okra, then we aren’t getting very fucking far, are we? Once you have a good idea of what food components you are looking for (selenium for testosterone, for example) you can check out the World’s Healthiest Foods website and do a search (whfoods.com). You can also do a Google search on most anything with “health benefits of XYZ” to get a good idea. Try it with whatever foods you love best and see what pops up. However, if you type in “health benefits of funnel cakes,” you aren’t gonna get much in the way of results.

Some of the results I have found using my Google Fu:

Foods that build estrogen because they contain phytoestrogens: dried fruit, flaxseed, sesame seeds, chickpeas, beans, peas, tempeh, sprouts and bran cereals.

Foods that build testosterone through vitamin D, zinc, and/or selenium: tuna, salmon, egg yolks, oysters, shellfish, beef, beans, sunflower seeds, brazil nuts and almonds.

And of course, these are all foods that are insanely healthy for all people. Food isn’t gender-policed like public bathrooms in North Carolina.

So you might be thinking, “Chickpeas are cool, I dig hummus. But, um, how do I actually cook with all this stuff? How do I create a meal that gives me total wood?” I have had so many people tell me they get frustrated as fuck when it comes to making something taste good. Nobody wants to eat a bowlful of plain steamed broccoli with tears streaming down their face while every normal person is chowing down on a burger.

That’s where the cookbook came in. People who have eaten my food, either chillin’ at my house or at one of my workshops, have said: “Wow, okay … this tastes good. I could totally eat healthy if this is what healthy looked like.”

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Because honestly? Nobody has time for crap food and I’m pretty sure that cookies are the meaning of life. So instead of continuing to threaten to write a cookbook, I got off my ass and actually did it. It’s called The Revolution Will Include Cookies and you can totally snag it on Amazon (tinyurl.com/cookiesarelife). Wanna test the waters? How about we fuck up a pan of amazing brownies and you see how you feel after eating them? Shoot me an email at [email protected] and tell me what you think, hot stuff!

Dope(amine) Brownies

Dark chocolate is actually good for you! It’s full of polyphenols that increase sexual arousal and sexual satisfaction. Chocolate for Valentine’s Day happens for a fucking reason. It also includes natural cannabinoids and Phenethylamine (PEA), which increases dopamine production. Excuse me for being cheesy as hell, but these brownies really are dope.

This recipe is also naturally dairy-free and gluten-free so it doesn’t have common food inflammatory agents in it. It does include eggs (if you don’t eat eggs, feel free to use an egg replacer) and coconut oil. Eggs don’t raise bad cholesterol, only good cholesterol. They are full of vitamins and minerals we need (B5, B6, selenium) plus they include all the amino acids the human body needs, including the nine essentials the body can’t make on its own.

Coconut oil is also the one food that you can’t extract the benefit of into a supplement. It’s lower in calories than other fats, converts better to energy without build up in the head and arteries and boosts both energy and endurance. So eat your coconut oil … it’s sexy!


6 Tbs. coconut oil, measured as a liquid (you can substitute with melted butter if you can tolerate dairy, but use a good grassed, organic butter like Kerrygold)

6 oz. semisweet chocolate chips (use a dairy-free version if you are dairy sensitive)

2 large eggs, room temperature

2/3 cup sugar (unrefined or coconut sugar is best)

2 tsp. vanilla extract

¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

3 Tbs. arrowroot powder (cornstarch also fine)

¼ tsp. salt


Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a 8” x 8” baking pan with foil or parchment paper (leaving overhang to make it easy to remove the brownies later) and spray with a non-stick cooking spray.

Add coconut oil and chocolate chips to a small saucepan set over low heat. Stir until oil and chocolate have melted before removing from heat and setting aside to cool slightly.

Beat the eggs, sugar and vanilla extract until smooth and pale, about two minutes. Add the melted chocolate mixture and mix until well combined. Add cocoa powder, arrowroot powder, and salt, mixing until well combined. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Batter should be thick and shiny.

Pour batter into a prepared pan, spreading it evenly with a greased spatula. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the center is set. Remove from oven and let cool in pan for about 15 minutes before removing.

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