So the second Fifty Shades movie came out earlier this year. And you know what, y’all? I could go all angry feminist about the series that would take way more column inches than Out In SA allots me. Short version? I’m so, so, so happy that people are having interesting and open conversations about BDSM…
My kid came out to me…and now to you
I talk about my children quite often in my writing and my speaking engagements. But I only talk about what they are comfortable with me saying, and at the level they are comfortable with. They tend to be pretty open, but this particular bit of information isn’t something I have shared in the past. Why…
Dear Intimacy Doctor — When Is It OK To Cheat?
Dear Intimacy Doctor: My beloved wife had a debilitating stroke a decade ago. It left her more like a child that needs to be cared for, and that is what I do. But I’m awfully lonely and I miss the physical companionship of sex like a physical pain. Is cheating on her really cheating at…
Answering your kid’s sex questions
When By “Daisy Chain” They Don’t Mean the Beading Pattern I brought my bio daughter and bonus daughter to the gynecologist a couple of years ago. Both got annual exams and both were discussing birth control options with the doc. So the doc got to hear my speech with both of them about pregnancy prevention…
Dear Intimacy Doctor — Am I A Dick?
Dear Intimacy Doctor: Simple question. I find myself incredibly attracted to this person, except physically. My body isn’t perfect by any means and I wouldn’t want someone discounting me because of physical attraction. But I can’t get myself turned on by this person. Am I a dick? Dear Dick Face: Simple answer first. Yes. You…
Gender Is Between Your Ears, Not Between Your Legs (Notes on Deconstructing The Binary)
I love “queer.” I see “queer” as meaning that which deviates from the script. Political resistance is “queer.” You live the best way you can, with the biggest awareness that you can, and try to mitigate suffering if you can. That’s what it means to be human. There’s no purity to one position. — Joan…
Hey, Lena Dunham? Thank You.
“Young people do not wake up on their thirteenth birthday, somehow transformed into a sexual being overnight. Even young children are sexual in some form.” – Heather Coleman, PhD & Grant Charles, PhD, University of Calgary, Alberta, Canada and The University of British Columbia, Vancouver, B.C. Two disclaimers: I have not read Lena Dunham’s…
The Intimacy Doctor shops for sex toys
The Two Main Characters in Pixar’s ‘Toy Story’ are Woody and Buzz Clearly This Was Intentional Me: I need a catchy title for my column about sex toys. Dan*: A dildo in hand is worth two in the bush? Me: No way! Two in the bush is waaaaay better! My poor fiancé really took one…
The Intimacy Doctor cooks with the Beekman Boys
I realize that I am the Out In SA sex columnist, not the food columnist. But since I adore food almost as much as I adore sex, I am also a regular attendee of events at the Central Market cooking school here in San Antonio. I got to hang out with the Beekman Boys this week,…
Go f*ck yourself
“Everyone does it, but no one admits it.” This statement almost always refers to one of two human activities. One is eating Jack in the Box egg rolls at 3 a.m. The other is masturbation. Masturbation is simply the touching of one’s genitals for the purpose of sexual pleasure. Historical records and anthropological studies indicate…