The FDA just approved the drug flibanserin for women with hypoactive sexual-desire disorder. Most people were all, “Wait, what? Girl Viagra? Score!” when this really isn’t the case at all. I taped an interview with Charity McCurdy from WOAI recently about this drug and the impact of it (as well as hyposexual desire on relationships). Charity…
My kid came out to me…and now to you
I talk about my children quite often in my writing and my speaking engagements. But I only talk about what they are comfortable with me saying, and at the level they are comfortable with. They tend to be pretty open, but this particular bit of information isn’t something I have shared in the past. Why…
Dear Intimacy Doctor — When Is It OK To Cheat?
Dear Intimacy Doctor: My beloved wife had a debilitating stroke a decade ago. It left her more like a child that needs to be cared for, and that is what I do. But I’m awfully lonely and I miss the physical companionship of sex like a physical pain. Is cheating on her really cheating at…
There is really only one key to relationship happiness
THOU SHALT NOT PUBLICLY TRASH YOUR PARTNER. Ok, there may be about 97 more, but honestly? Those are negotiations, not rules. Who gets the 3AM baby-feeding? Cat-vomit duty? Decides if the toilet paper roll hangs under or over? That’s all part of the relational dance that we have to navigate. But those aren’t the real…
#swingerprobs
Dear Intimacy Doctor: So, have you figured out a way to tell someone they’re rubbish in bed … meanwhile the other halves of the couples are banging like a house on fire? #swingerprobs (This is the point where the Intimacy Doctor strokes her imaginary Freudian beard and says “tell me more.”) His problem seems to…
Answering your kid’s sex questions
When By “Daisy Chain” They Don’t Mean the Beading Pattern I brought my bio daughter and bonus daughter to the gynecologist a couple of years ago. Both got annual exams and both were discussing birth control options with the doc. So the doc got to hear my speech with both of them about pregnancy prevention…
Perving in the Age of the Digital Footprint
My friend Harley* recently moved from the West Coast to the deep, deep South. And he called me because he was having a serious problem. You see, Harley is: Clearly not White. Clearly not Christian. On the upper end of the freak scale, sexually A federal employee. This move (concomitant with a nice federal promotion)…
Dear Intimacy Doctor — Am I A Dick?
Dear Intimacy Doctor: Simple question. I find myself incredibly attracted to this person, except physically. My body isn’t perfect by any means and I wouldn’t want someone discounting me because of physical attraction. But I can’t get myself turned on by this person. Am I a dick? Dear Dick Face: Simple answer first. Yes. You…
Excuse Me? You Wanna Do WHAT? Navigating Differential Desires
You have a new boo. Life is excellent. You snuggle over mugs of coffee and split a slice of the white chocolate raspberry cake at Mad Hatters. You haggle over who gets the last of the coconut cream pie cookie at WD Deli after downing bowls of macaroni and cheese soup (Here’s a tip: Get…
Gender Is Between Your Ears, Not Between Your Legs (Notes on Deconstructing The Binary)
I love “queer.” I see “queer” as meaning that which deviates from the script. Political resistance is “queer.” You live the best way you can, with the biggest awareness that you can, and try to mitigate suffering if you can. That’s what it means to be human. There’s no purity to one position. — Joan…